Thursday, June 19, 2008

...waiting...

Qualities I really dislike about myself are my impatience and fear of the unknown. When something is in limbo, I cannot stand it! There are quite a few variables in my life right now that can and will completely change everything, but what can I do? WAIT!

If I am supposed to be in Memphis then I should stay. But there's the "job thing", plus I'm supposed to start school in the Fall (getting a BSN). I've been admitted, but apparently they still haven't completed my transfer eval! I'm probably about to have to move (in town), but I don't know. And if I do have to move, I don't know if it will be immediately or in August when Landon's lease is up. I'd much rather just live by myself...but even more than that, I'd rather not live in Memphis...

I think that I've gotten everything out of this city that I can and it's time to move on.

My most perfect and ideal job is in Shreveport. It's not the one I initially applied for, but this one is far better and is the one they wanted to talk to me about...BUT I probably won't know anything about it until at least August - did I mention I hate waiting?

Then there is home. Everyone has a different definition of home, but for me, at this time in my life, home is being where my friends and family are. Home is Birmingham. I need to be there. At least for a minute.

So what to do? Nothing. All I can do is wait. And I despise waiting! In a perfect world everything would just fall into place - today. Even if the actions wouldn't take place for a month or 2 (or longer) at least I would know, I could stop worrying, and get on with life.

I should stop waiting. waiting for my (new) life to begin and just start living - because like it or not, this is life. I just wish that it was a little more cut and dry...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

For what it's worth, I've always heard Shreveport is a dump.

Lauren, Daniel, James and baby Brendan. said...

I think you and I are cut from the same cloth as far as waiting and fear of the unknown. Just try to remember to let it be. It will all perfectly fall apart and then back together again. LOVE YOU!

holowahini said...

Limbo does suck, but you'll get there. Life is a journey, not a destination.

And even though it wasn't home for very long, I miss it, too. Just something about it... :o)