Something Store fun

My partner in crime, John, at work and I are ordering something from the Something Store. I blogged about this some time ago here. I am SO EXCITED about this... our something should arrive in approximately 10 days. He's going to bring it to work so we can open it - then we will fight over who gets to keep it.

It's going to be awesome!

Brace yourselves for THIS awesomeness

So I have a list, at home, of blogs I need to write. A lot has happened in the past few weeks but I haven't had the time and/or the energy to write. ...let's face it, sometimes it's easier for me to write while I'm at work...

I had to skip past my list and touch on this.

A guy at work and I like to share tidbits - various obscurities and other noteworthy items - we find while purusing the internet. He sent me this today and well, I couldn't resist. There are so many points I could touch on but you need to read for yourself...this is, for lack of a better word, awful. So awful, in fact, that the original poster felt it was necessary to scan the actual book she was reading....

Please enjoy:

So, let's pretend it's pretty late and you're doing a little light reading before bed, as you sometimes do. This book is one that you bought used probably fifteen years ago and it has sat on your shelf since then. Now, you've decided to read it and within the first page you realize it's one of those fantasy novels, written by a man who wants to idolize his fantasy princess dream woman. But after he gets past describing her in chapter one you think, okay. Maybe there's a good story in this book anyway. Anyway, it's only 200 pages, so even if it's awful it'll be quick.So it's late. You're about halfway finished with the book. The princess has met the faerie king and he's brought her to the faerie court! She's met the faerie wives! And you turn the page and come across this:

(I'm aware you can't really read this...PLEASE click here for a non-blurry version)

And then he rapes her. :D

(ETA: the rest of the chapter is now available here)

There was no way to simply say, "I read a really bad description in this book last night." I had to scan it and share it for you to understand just how bad it truly, truly was. It is the sort of bad that causes pain and must be shared with other people so you can feel better.

I really wish I could crosspost this to fanficrants. Alas, it is somehow a published work. I mean, one or two of those descriptions are vaguely interesting to put emphasis on some particular body part. Two pages worth, however, is absurd and ridiculous, especially as much of it makes no sense at all, and made me wonder if I'd fallen asleep while reading it and dreamed it up it was so bad.

Really, all I could think was, "I have got to scan this tomorrow because no one will believe how awful it is." It's so awful it's gone back around to being good again--but for all the wrong reasons. It's just hilarious. It is unbelivable such a thing got published. I'm so amazed!

Title & Author of the book is "Silk and Steel" by Ron Miller. (My copy was published in 1992 by "Ace Fantasy" but it appears it was later reissued by Timberwolf Press, which is "publish on demand" (and may be a vanity press(, which is the version the Amazon link goes to. I don't know if it's been editted.) (Oh, hey, only now do I realize it's actually a sequel to another book I've never read. Well, I'm not going to now, that's for sure.)

And now I feel satisfied that you have all shared in my pain with me. I am still intending to read the rest of the book, too. Pity me. Pity me.

My actual favorite part was not the excerpt but the pictures people submitted with their idea of what this creature...errrr beautiful person looked like...

http://entropy-house.livejournal.com/922918.html

and then there's this rendition: (Brace yourself for this awesomeness!)

http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html?thread=11352887#t11352887

and that, my friends, is what makes me happy on this Wednesday afternoon...

Oh those kids

Children can be so funny, the best is when they don't even know they are being funny. At church on Sunday, all the kids were gathered in the front of the sanctuary for Moments with the Children. The pastor was explaining God's love and how it's so enormous we can't even measure it!

First the pastor pulls out a glass measuring cup and says, 'I really like to cook. When I cook I use this'. He then holds up the cup and asks what it is. One sweet little boy raises his hand high and and proud and says 'Oh! It's a measuring cup!' The pastor replies, 'That is right, but the Bible says that we can't measure God's love like this because our cup runneth over...there's too much love for the cup, and it would spill out'.

The kids nod their heads...

Next he pulls out a measuring tape and says 'I really like to build things. When I work in the house I use this'. He pulls out the measuring tape and asks what it is. A few kids raise their hands and tell him it's a measuring tape. The pastor goes on to say that we can't measure God's love with a measuring tape because the Bible says God's love reaches higher than the Heavens and that his measuring tape certainly couldn't reach that high.

The kids really seem to be following....

Finally the pastor points to his wrist. He shows them his watch and says 'what do we measure with a watch?'. The first kid raises his hand again and shouts [are you ready for this?]

"LOVE!"

See? They really were listening! The lesson was all about measuring God's love...

In an effort to update my blog more often...

First off, congratulations are in order - to me! I have been on this diet for 1 month and 4 days and as of yesterday I have lost a total of :

26.4 pounds

I still have plenty to go but that is pretty darn exciting so it needs to be documented...

Other than that, the news of the week is I will be having surgery sometime soon, probably next week. I will know what day Monday when I meet with the surgeon. I'm having a lap chole (removing my gallbladder). I know this is an "easy" surgery but I made the mistake of watching this video. Yeah...it's that scary - well maybe not scary but it's certainly gross but I did think that the liver looked pretty neat. I had no idea!

There's good news and bad news to this. The best news is this should alleviate my pain I've been having for the past almost 2 weeks. I spoke to my MD and I will have to go off my diet for "a little while" once I have the surgery. The good news is I'll be able to eat out at the beach without feeling too guilty! The bad news...I'm afraid it will be hard to start back. Keep your fingers crossed for that!

What a time!!

This was the most exciting weekend in a while!

I love my girls more than anything but I love when I get to see people I never see! This weekend so many wonderful friends came to town and I am so glad I was able to spend time with them!!

Friday some of my greatest friends Will and Bradley came into town for a show! I hadn't seen them in 10,000 years - probably since their wedding. Unfortunately I didn't have tickets to the show they were going to but we were able to catch up some before they left. Since I had plans on Friday night too, I was actually out about 30 minutes or so longer than they were, but when I got home we spent hours playing and laughing and talking! My throat was sore the next day!! I had such a great time with them, it was like no time had passed at all. I hate that they had to leave on Saturday, I was sad to see them go!! I am certain that this time there won't be near as much time in between visits.

On Saturday literally as Will and Bradley were leaving my cousin Landon and his friend Michael drove up. They had gone to Atlanta for a few days and stopped by to see me on their way home. We had lunch at one of my favorite places and then went to a local, natural store to get some random things for Landon (I did my shopping there a few weeks ago). They didn't stay too long as they had another 3 1/2 hours before their trip was over, but it was a nice visit! I hadn't seen Landon in a few months and really enjoyed his visit - even if it was short.

Luckily, I had enough time for a quick nap between Landon and Michael leaving and when I was meeting Lauren and Daniel. They were in town for a minute, supposed to be going to the mountains, but changed their plans after driving over 700 miles with their 14 month old - James. I was so glad to finally meet James!! I hadn't seen the Duffy's since Lauren was pregnant with James. He is too cute! I felt like I knew him already from seeing all the pictures and reading all about him in her blog, but I love him! It was so wonderful to catch up and laugh with everyone! It was just like old times.

I was supposed to meet Jack, Jessica and The Dude's new arrival, last week but had to cancel because of what may be a gallbladder problem. So Friday I talked with Chris and discussed coming by after work on Sunday. Since I actually got off "on time" (1230), I came straight over. Oh that Jack! He is precious! He is tiny!! Today should be his birthday but he will be one month old on Wednesday. I loved just holding him in my arms - he still has that new baby smell! (Seriously) Lauren, Daniel, and James came over while I was there which was even better because we were able to hang out even more and I got to play with James who just made me laugh and laugh! I can't wait to see them all again!!

The only bad thing about this weekend is that my good camera is gone and my other is broken....I have no pictures of any of this exciting weekend!

It's been so long

It was pointed out to me this weekend that I have basically fallen off the grid the past few weeks/months. I'm sorry. I could give all the excuses in the world, most of which are true: I've been working, A LOT. Overtime during the week, on call on the weekends, plus I work Sundays. That leaves me with little extra time, which I don't want to spend in front of the computer. I've also been on a diet, which has meant A LOT of time quality in the kitchen. (At least it's paid off so far. I've lost over 20lbs this month!) Like I said, I could go on and on....

So that's what's been going on in my life since my absence. Work, work, work, cooking, and a little time left for sleep and play. I've been spending a lot of time on me and it's been great! My OT ends at the end of this month - I have 6 days left (of course it's spread out over 3 weeks)!!

April will be VERY busy! I will be going to the beach for a much needed vacation one weekend, to see Styx the next, in the middle of the month my grandfather will be inducted into the Alabama Road Builders Association Hall of Fame, and at the end of the month I will be on the 12th row at Ray Lamontagne!

...and that's just what's already on the schedule...

Why has 2nd day air delivery become 5 day delivery?

Don't get me wrong, I am glad my package will allegedly arrive today but WHY must one pay for 2nd day air shipping when it will take from Thursday to Monday to arrive? It is more than irritating.